It is the elimination of this pain that is the core reason why you should try to forgive those that hurt you.įorgiveness interventions have been shown to be effective ways to combat the physical and emotional effects of the wrongdoing. It is often said that forgiveness is more for you, the forgiver, than it is for the wrongdoer.įorgiveness is only necessary when one person feels hurt by the actions of another. You may be wondering why you should bother trying to forgive someone for the things they have done. Forgiveness doesn’t require you to push that feeling down into the recesses of your unconscious mind.Īs we have already explored, emotional forgiveness means to release those negative feelings having dealt with them. You may forgive someone and still not wish to have that person in your life anymore.Ħ. Repression – when a person hurts you, that feeling is a valid one. Where appropriate, you can enforce the laws that govern the society you live in.ĥ. Reconciliation – forgiving someone may involve mending the relationship that has been damaged by the wrongdoing, but this is not a requirement for forgiveness. Yes, you may be able to move on from it emotionally, but this does not make the wrongdoing any less hurtful or painful at the time.Ĥ. Pardoning – forgiving someone does not mean you cannot seek justice for what they did. Nor do you give the wrongdoer permission to behave in the same way again, toward you or anyone else.ģ. Denying/Minimizing – you do not have to deny the severity of the offense. In fact, it’s better that you remember the wrongdoing or you might fall foul of the same thing again by not removing yourself from certain situations or standing up for yourself.Ģ. Condoning – you don’t have to accept the wrongdoing as okay. People often confused forgiveness with letting someone “off the hook.”ġ. Forgetting – while you may come to terms with a wrongdoing emotionally, you do not have to forget that it happened.
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